Confessions of AttyArj

just had dinner, almost died

October 3, 2008
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Last night, before “V” went to bed, she labored on our dinner for tonight.  It’s called goulash* daw and the ingredients are (based on what I saw) beef chunks, tomato sauce and 1 million onions.  There’s so many onions that, halfway through “V”‘s chef moment, “A”, “D” and I were already sniffling and crying buckets of water.

Knowing that I don’t have to spend nor slave for dinner tonight, I hurriedly went home wishing that dinner’s already set.  Although “D” already brought out the goulash pot from the fridge, there’s no rice yet so I hurriedly cooked some.  The thing was, super bagal nung rice cooker, nananadya ata.  (lesson learned: super tagal nang 15 minutes pag gutom ka.)          

While the rice cooker was taking its sweet time, “D” turned up the heat of the stove and brought the goulash to a boil.  Boy, did it boil.  Parang horror movie ang dating at itsura nung kumukulong goulash kasi it’s red with red oil bubbling on top.  “D” looked like a witch stirring her wicked talyasi (big pot) full of body parts.  You get the picture?  Scary noh?  (Just so you know, “D” and I both have wicked imaginations)

Seriously, “V”‘s goulash looked good and very appetizing (mukha syang asado sans the potatoes) so when the orange light of the rice cooker went off, we immediately sat down ready for a good chow.  

Since she was first on the table, “D” lead the goulash initiation rites.  As it turned out, she was first to sample and first to complain.  The first words out of her mouth were — “grabe, ang anghang” (too hot/spicy).  Thinking I can handle it, I served myself and hoped for the best. 

My gosh! $%#@! “D” wasn’t kidding.  The goulash was reall really hot.  Walang sinabi yung tom yam at street pansit na kinain namin sa Bangkok.  Buti na lang si “D” and nauna, at least ako, kahit papano, may warning.

The goulash was sooo hot that “D”, who initially opted not to eat rice, begged for some rice immediately after sampling the goulash.  Buti na lang meron kaming chaser (my name is Arj, I’m an alcoholic, hahaha) na leftover veggies to, once in a while, rest and soothe our burning mouths.   

Our 30 minute meal (I can’t help it, I’m an occasional Rachel Ray fan) went this way: 

“Grabe anghang!”…subo…”anghang talaga!”…subo…”A, try mo, ma-anghang pero masarap”…subo ulit…”do we have milk?”…subo pa…choke…cough cough cough…tubig!!!…subo ulit…”ano kayang nilagay ni V dito, isang kilong chili powder?”…”pero masarap ha and malambot yung meat”…

Halfway through the goulash pot, we stopped eating na.  Although our spirits are still willing (masarap eh!), our burning mouths (tongues, gums, lips and tonsils included) running noses, and watery eyes gave up the fight.   

Since “V” didn’t come home in time for dinner, we had a little suspicion — she’s trying to kill us for not helping out in the kitchen last night. 

When “V” got home, I told her that we ate the goulash and that it was good but really hot.  Surprisingly, she said — “You ate it na?  It’s not yet done.  I want to put something to it pa”.  Whaaaat?  More chili?  More paprika?  More poison? 

She said “It’s not yet done” but maybe she means — “You ate it na?  And you’re not yet done?”  OMG!  She’s really trying to kill us. 

 

moral of the story:  always lend a hand. 

two cents:  keep an eye on your roommate, she’s devising schemes to do you in.

 

 

*goulash is a rich meat stew highly seasoned with paprika.


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