Confessions of AttyArj

me eat healthy one day

August 17, 2010
5 Comments

Hotdog, tocino, longganiza, SPAM, sausage, corned beef, spanish sardines, 2 litres of milk, 5 kilos of rice grains and a tray of eggs. These, more or less, sum up my grocery list.

Where’s the poultry, meat and greens?

Well….I don’t buy poultry, meat or greens.

I don’t go to the poultry section because there’s always Jollibee, McDonalds, KFC and Reyes BBQ. I don’t buy meat because Chowking, Tapa King, Charlie’s and Yoohoo BBQ are just around the corner.

When I crave chinese, vegies or pansit, there’s North Park, San Jacinto Panciteria or Country Noodles. If I feel like eating healthy (read: grilled fish), I go for Pixie’s Sinugba.

Pathetic right?

Yes but this is usually the price that (almost) all single, workaholic (????), city dwellers like me have to pay.

My “eat out, take out and call for delivery habit” started when I entered college. While our dorm food doesn’t really suck, one can only eat so much pork steak, igado (it looks and taste a bit like menudo), baby tilapia and BBQ from our neighbor’s stand.

Naturally, we all survived on dine in, take out and delivery. Believe it or not, I’ve practically memorized the price ranges and food combinations that went with Jollibee’s Value Meal, McDonalds’ Happy Meal, KFC’s Combo Meal and Wendy’s Chorva Meal.

When I started working, my fast food habit continued but was lessened when Vero became one of my housemates. She goes to the market, cooks and bakes. Hooray!

Don’t get me wrong, while I’m not chef material, I can and do cook “real food” once in a while, I just don’t particularly enjoy or love doing it. Remember the corned beef/meat loaf incident?

Last year, we moved out of Las Villas and moved to a condo in Mandaluyong sans Vero. She has since struck gold, bought her own house and got pregnant, in no particular order =).

Needless to say, we lost our market expert, gourmet cook and pastry chef =(

With Vero gone, Anne promised to take over kitchen duties. She made good that promise the first two months. Now, she no longer eats dinner.

Donna doesn’t cook because she rarely eats dinner. When she does eat, its mainly fruits and Gulai (tama yan, that’s a packed salad brand).

You see? I, clearly, have no choice.

Just this morning (or was it noon already?), I drove by Pixie’s to buy food for lunch. When I asked the grill boy if there’s fish available he said yes and asked “Ma’am, kayo ba yung taga-Tower 1”? Surprised, I said — “Huh?….Hindi….Tower 3 ako”. Grill boy: “Sabi ko na nga ba e, kilala ko kayo”.

OMG! He actually knows me.

I don’t know what to make of it so I came out with three (3) possible explanations. (A) He has a very good memory; (B) I have a very memorable face; (C) I order (take out and delivery) A LOT.

Your guess is as good as mine.

From here on, I’ll try (read: struggle) to eat healthy. I’ll try to avoid fried, oily and msg saturated food. I’ll try to follow Donna’s lead (not Anne’s coz I’ll die) so that somehow, someday, I’ll be a goat, este, fit and healthy pala.


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basement 5

February 25, 2010
2 Comments

To survive in this city, one must not only be street smart, you must also be real estate savvy.

For single ladies like me (more like, ‘us’), more than the location, structure or basic habitation needs, budget is a MAJOR consideration. After all, more than a roof over our heads, we can’t survive the lipstick jungle without stocking up our arsenal (read: shoes, bags and clothes).

A few months ago, the owner of the Valle II unit that we were renting decided to come home thereby forcing us to, once again, uproot ourselves. After weeks of searching, we finally found a unit acceptable and convenient for us. The unit, however, is 10 floors up and the only available parking space is in Basement 5.

With no less than 18 years of renting experience (my dorm days included), I’m pretty used to the pros and cons of the city life, what I’m not used to is the literal ups and downs.

Since I’ve never lived in a building that is more than five floors, the fact that I’m now living at the 10th floor and has a parking space in Basement 5 (B5) still feels odd and a bit sad. While we have state of the art elevator, the fact that it takes me more than three minutes to get my car out of the building sucks. Coming from B5, finally seeing the B1 sign is like opening Santa’s present. It feels like Christmas.  It makes me smile and eager for the rest of the day. That’s a good thing right?   

It’s been four months now and we’re still not fully adjusted. I miss Vero and her home cooked meals =(  Donna misses her late night runs along the village. Anne misses the village guards (hehehe!).

I know we’re in a good place now (read: the nearest mall is just across the street), it’s just that B5 really sucks.


Posted in nightcaps

i’m “still single” because….

January 30, 2010
2 Comments

For the past couple of (dog) years I’ve pondered about my lack of success in the dating department.  I know I’m not lacking in the looks or personality department (coz friends and family constantly reassure me) so I really had a hard time figuring out why I morphed from a “single” twenty something into a “still single” thirty something.  Until today.

Now I know.

Just a couple of hours ago, while I was preparing my dinner, I finally figured out my biggest flaw.  I have zero kitchen skills.

Remember my disastrous ginisang corned beef con meatloaf?

While I have basic frying and sautéing skills, I can’t even cook adobong kangkong without the help of the internet.  My netbook spent so much time in the kitchen counter it now smells of onion and garlic.

That’s why I’m “still single”.  No matter how hard I try or how I often I stay glued on Lifestyle Network watching all the cooking shows.  I can’t seem to imbibe the Martha Stewart spirit.  I know that the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach but, somehow, I can’t get there.  I’m constantly lost ‘coz I can’t seem to follow simple directions.

A couple of hours ago, I got hungry so I opened a bottle of Spanish sardines.  Since I can’t eat stuff straight from the bottle, I followed the basic ginisa recipe.  I had no trouble doing the basics.  I sautéed garlic, onions and tomatoes without a glitch but I can’t say the same about the “then add the Spanish sardines in olive oil” part.  As I was pouring the sardines from the bottle, I was surprised when I saw large chunks of fish instead of the usual tiny fish that they also use to make tuyo.  WTF?

Dumbfounded, I naturally checked the bottle label and it was then that I realized that what I have was the bangus (milkfish) version.

Ooops!  I did it again.  Another label disaster.  I should have paid more to attention to Nestle’s commercial slogan.  It really “pays to look at the label”.

The (really) sad thing was the fact that I was the one who went grocery shopping.  I (obviously) grabbed the wrong bottle.  To top it all, I grabbed two wrong ones.

Haayyy, how stupid can I get?

Now you also know.

I’m “still single” because not only can’t I f**king cook, I also can’t do grocery shopping.

Men may not be as intuitive as women but I’m pretty sure that they can smell my lack of kitchen skills from a mile away.


my “not so techie” mom’s facebook experience

March 27, 2009
7 Comments

I was preparing to go home when I saw a missed call from my Mom so immediately called her.  Here’s how our conversation went.

“Ma, you called?”

“Oo, kasi may facebook request ako from Loraine, hindi ko ma-approve.  Hindi mo kasi ako tinuruan.  Buksan mo nga yung facebook ka, ikaw na lang mag-approve.”

“‘Di ba tinuruan na kita?  I-click mo lang yung friend request, nasa may bandang taas yun.”

“Ayaw nga, kanina pako dito naiinis na ‘ko.”

“Asan si Papa?  Patulong ka sa kanya.”

“Andito nga, katabi ko, pero hindi nya alam.  Hindi mo kasi ako tinuruan.  Kanina pa ‘ko dito.  ‘Di ko na alam gagawin ko!” 

At this point, medyo magka-level na ang exasperation namin. 

“Sige nga, buksan mo ulit.”

“Bukas na nga!  Nakaka-inis!  Bakit ganun?”

At this point, sumali na ang tatay ko sa gulo.  I can hear him in the background saying — “Ma, ano ba, ‘wag kang mag-pakagalit dyan, it’s no big deal, just follow her instructions.”

“Ano ‘ba nakikita mo sa screen?  Nasa taas lang yung friend request.  I-click mo lang, lalabas na si Loraine.”

“Eto, binabasa ko yung e-mail ni Loraine, gusto nya akong i-invite sa facebook.”

“Ma, nasan ka ba?  Nasa Yahoo ka ba?

“Oo, kasi dito pinadala ni Loraine yung invitation.”

Sabi ko sa isip ko — @%&$!

 “Maaa, eh paano mo ia-approve yan eh nasa Yahoo ka, pumunta ka sa Facebook.”

 “Eh paano ba ‘ko pupunta sa Facebook?”

“Magbukas ka nang bagong explorer.  I-click mo yung letter “e” na blue o yung mozilla icon.”

“O, ayan, may Facebook na.”

“O sige, mag-log-in ka.  Email address, then password.”

“Ayaw!”

Naki-alam ulit ang tatay ko.  “Ayun, sign-up!”

“‘Wag yun, yung LOG-IN dapat!”

“Ayaw nga.  Ayan, naging puti lahat yung screen.”

“Hintayin mo lang.”

“O, ayan, naka-pasok na ‘ko.”

“O, i-click mo yung friend request sa taas.  Kita mo?”

“Ayan, na-click ko na.  Nakita ko na si Loraine.  May add to list.”

“Hindi yun, i-confirm mo.”

“Ayan, friend ko na raw si Loraine.”

“O sige, sagutin mo na yung message nya.”

“Sabi dito do you want to poke Loraine, ano gagawin ko?”

“Hay nako, ‘wag ka muna mag-po-po-poke dyan, mag-aral ka muna mag-log-in.  So, okay na?  Babay na?  Pwede na akong umuwi?”

“Okay, babay na.  Thank you anak.”

“Okay, bye.”

Hayyy.  Buti na lang may 24/7 call & text unlimited ang Sun cellular at ‘di ako nagastusan sa kulitang yun. 

Ang cute ng nanay ko no?  Ang kulit.  Love you ‘Ma.

Isa lang po yan sa mga techie moments ng nanay ko, madami pang iba.  Bukas, I’ll share her text messaging experience.


gago at tanga to the highest level

March 4, 2009
2 Comments

Bakit ang daming gagong lalaki at tangang babae sa mundo?

Aaminin ko, medyo mapanglait at mapanghusga ako kahit alam kong hindi naman ako perpekto.  Alam ko rin na masama ang manglait at manghusga pero — NAMAN!!!

Anong ipinagpuputok ng butse ko???

Eto.

A few weeks ago, wala kang ibang maririnig at mababasa kung’di yung ginawang pang-gugulpi ni Chris Brown sa girlfriend nyang si Rihanna the diva.  (Wala lang, nadi-divahan ako sa kanya.)  Sabi sa mga tsismisang site sa internet, nag-hiwalay na raw ata sila.  Tapos, the other day, I heard na they’re back together.  Magkabati na raw at magkasama na ulit sila.  To Rihanna — DUH!?!  Tanga ka ba o tanga ka lang talaga???  

Kahapon, isang gago at isang tanga na naman ang laman ng internet.  Sino?  Eh ‘di si Bachelor Jason Mesnick at Bachelor castoff Molly Malaney.  

I’m not sure kung scripted at gimik lang ng mga producers ang nangyari pero, grabe naman.  How mean can you get?  Kawawa naman si Melissa (Rycroft)

Sa mga hindi nakaka-alam, here’s what happened.

Apparently, Melissa and Molly vied for Jason’s final rose.  Eventually, Melissa came out victorious.  She got the rose, the ring and the much awaited proposal.  Unfortunately, she didn’t get the one thing that matters most — the GUY.  

What happened?  Jason changed his mind six weeks later.  He broke up with her during the Final Rose special.

“I came here to find somebody to spend the rest of my life with… and we’re not right for each other,” Jason told Melissa.

“I don’t know what you want me to say when you sit here and say that—because I don’t believe you,” Melissa protested. “I mean, I thought things were perfect!”

“You have every right to be irritated,” Jason offered.

Dapat yata ang sinabi nya — “you have every right to wish me dead”.

That’s not it.  Hindi pa dun natapos ang hirap at pasakit ni Melissa.  After that, Jason professed his love to Molly, the girl that he previously dumped, and then begged for another chance.  The nerve!  The ass!  Gago! 

“So much of what I’ve been looking for, and I didn’t even know it, was right in front of my face,” Jason told Molly.

“I was hoping we could have a shot, see if we could go out for coffee or a drink and see where things…,” he added.

“I’m very confused,” Molly said, haltingly.  “I think we still have a lot to talk about.  But my feelings never went away.  What I was feeling for you from the day I left New Zealand until today—those feelings never went away.  I think we can…see where things go?”

“That’s all I’m asking,” Jason replied.

Tanga!  Gaga!  Baliw ka na ba?!?

Hayyy!!!  Ewan!!!

Sana lang hindi mangyari sa’kin ang mga bagay na ito.


Vday treat

February 14, 2009
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As a valentine treat for my slaves at the office, I got them this heart shaped prune walnut cake from Becky’s Kitchen.

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YUM!

Happy Hearts Day everyone!


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2nd childhood party

November 21, 2008
7 Comments

To celebrate Skinny 2’s (a.k.a. MF) second childhood, Skinny 1 (TF) and Skinny 3 (LF) threw her a McDonalds party.

Here’s the text invite from Skinny 1:

Come & celebrate MF’s 2nd childhood (J!) as she turns 32 on Nov 18 Tue 7pm at McDo Frontera Verde cor. J Vargas (near Alchemy/SM/Tiendesitas).  Be in fab children’s attire.  RSVP only.

2nd childhood party?  Cool!  Yehey! makakasakali ako sa bring me at longest birthday greeting contest. 

As per Skinny 1’s confirmation, the party will kick off at around 7:30 so I left the office early, picked up “D” somewhere along the way (hehehe, parang kanta ni Manilyn) and went straight to the party venue.  

As expected, andun na yung ibang guest.  The Skinny family and relatives are all there.  Skinny 3’s friends are there.  We were there (Skinny 1’s friends).  Wait, were’s Skinny 2’s friends?  There’s something wrong with this picture.  Ahhhh, siguro late lang sila.

Para hindi kami maiinip sa medyo may katagalang food (a 5 minute wait is like an hour to a hungry guest), nag-pa-contest agad yung dalawang party hosts.  Inumpisahan nila sa longest birthday greeting.  Tamang tama, nag-praktis ako.

Contestant No. 1:

Happy Bday Skinny Twooooooooooooo!  (10 seconds)

Contestant No. 2: (“D”) 

Happy Bday Skinny Twooooooooooooooooooo!  (13 seconds)

Contestant No. 3: (Arj) 

Happy Bday Skinny Twooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  (15 seconds) 

Despite my effort, hindi ako nanalo, nanalo yung umabot sa 23 seconds.  Ewan, bampira (vampire) ata yun, ‘di kelangan ng oxygen.  Uyyyy, bitter.

 Pero nagka-prize ako sa bring me.  Bring a picture of your boyfriend daw so may I labas agad ako ng cellphone at ipinakita ang picture ng boyfriend ko.  Gusto nyong makita? Eto o…

photo_062708_002

Siempre, walang nagawa yung party host kung ‘di i-declare akong Winner!  Aba, winner ata ang Papa Piolo ko.

Sumali din ako sa “arrange yourselves” pero ‘di kami nanalo.  Dinaya kasi kami.  Hmmmmp!  Bitter na kung bitter. 

By the end of the night, the four of us (Me, “A”, “D” and “V”) were able to amass 9 prizes!  Hooray!

Siyempre, bago mag-uwian my speech muna yung nag-se-second childhood.

Skinny 2:

Thank you all for coming.  Thank you sa mga friends ni Skinny 1 at Skinny 3, kung ‘di dahil sa inyo, wala akong bisita…..

Ahhh, so sad.  Asan na nga ba yung mga yun?  On the other hand, buti na lang ‘di sila dumating kasi kinarir naming apat yung spaghetti, chicken, fries at sundae, wala na atang natira.     

Nevertheless, despite her MIA friends, masaya pa din yung party, at siempre si Skinny 2, kasi present si Papa “J”.  

Bago kami umuwi, humirit ulit yung party host.

Party Host:

Wala po bang mag-wi-wish?

Everyone present simultaneously shouted:

“Wag ka munang mag-bo-boyfriend!” (too late!) “Mag-aral kang mabuti!” “Mag-papakabait ka!”  Sumunod ka sa payo ng Nanay mo!”  Matulog ka ng maaga, ‘wag kang mag-pupuyat!”  “Wag masyado matagal sa internet!”

Hehehe.  Akala mo talagang bata yung pinapayuhan noh. 

Siempre hindi mawawala ang photo ops.

skinny-bitches

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group-3

group-2


Do I dazzle you?

November 20, 2008
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I have a confession to make — I was dazzled…

twilight_book_cover1

Finally, I’m done reading Twilight and I love’t!

At last, ready na ako for the November 26 movie opening.

twilight-movie-poster1

Here’s a peek at what’s in store for Twilight saga fans.


overheard

November 16, 2008
3 Comments

Aside from being such a bad cook, I’m known for being observant and meticulous. I’m quite fussy and, as the people at the office would attest, a stickler for details.  Ang dami bang pasakalye?  Sige na nga, aaminin ko na, isa akong tsismosa.  At dahil sa katangian kong ‘yan, madami akong nasasagap na kung anu-anong kwento.

Gaya nito:

Scenario I.  (Overheard while I’m passing through the village clubhouse on my way home.)

Date/Time: Thursday, November 13, 2008, 8:00 PM.

Location: Clubhouse store near the village pool (my usual shortcut).

Unsuspecting characters: A few village househelps and the girl manning the store.

Girl 1: Sinong iskedyul ngayun?

Boy 1: Trupit daw.

Girl 2: Akala ko Tuesdee sila.

Boy 1: Hindi, nakapaskil, trupit ngayun.

I simply had no idea what they were talking about so I asked myself — ano kaya yung “trupit”?   After a while, it dawned on me — Ahhh!  True Faith!  They were talking about the band “True Faith”!  $@&#!

Hmmmn, parang gusto ko ring manood ng gig ng Trupit.  Saan kaya?  Siguro sa Aroba, hehehe.

Scenario I.  (Overheard while I’m on the elevator.)

Date/Time: Friday, November 14, 2008, 12:30 PM.

Location: 16th Floor.

Unsuspecting characters: A maintenance girl, a fifty something security guard and a guy standing behind the guard.

Arj: (Waiting to get off at the 17th Floor.)

Maintenance Girl: Kuya (referring to the security guard) gasgas na gasgas na yang batuta mo ah.

Security Guard: (speechless/dumbfounded) Ahhh, oo nga, kelangan na pintahan.

Guy behind guard: (laughing his ass off and tapping the security guard’s shoulder) Kasi gamit na gamit.  Hindi ba kuya?

Siempre, hindi ako naka-react.  Pinigil ko yung tawa ko (kahit na-nginginig na yung balikat ko) kasi sobrang dyahe.  Dyahe dun sa girl kasi she was so innocent, she was just trying to make conversation. Dyahe din dun sa guard, araw araw pa naman yung sumasaludo sa akin, baka sabihin nya hindi ako demure, hehehe.  At lalong dyahe dun sa guy kasi akala nya sila lang nung guard yung nag-kaintindihan.  Isa pa, masyado akong na-shock sa sinabi nung girl, hindi kinaya ng powers ko.  Parang ako yung napahiya, ayon tuloy, hindi ako naka-imik.  Sayang hindi ako naka-hirit.

Kayo, if you were in my place, hihirit ba kayo?  Anong sasabihin nyo?


the love we deserve

November 14, 2008
1 Comment

This one’s for myself and for some dear friends, so that, like the girl who endured the pain, we’ll be constantly reminded that we shouldn’t settle for less and that

lovewedeserve-21


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