Confessions of AttyArj

i’m “still single” because…. | January 30, 2010

For the past couple of (dog) years I’ve pondered about my lack of success in the dating department.  I know I’m not lacking in the looks or personality department (coz friends and family constantly reassure me) so I really had a hard time figuring out why I morphed from a “single” twenty something into a “still single” thirty something.  Until today.

Now I know.

Just a couple of hours ago, while I was preparing my dinner, I finally figured out my biggest flaw.  I have zero kitchen skills.

Remember my disastrous ginisang corned beef con meatloaf?

While I have basic frying and sautéing skills, I can’t even cook adobong kangkong without the help of the internet.  My netbook spent so much time in the kitchen counter it now smells of onion and garlic.

That’s why I’m “still single”.  No matter how hard I try or how I often I stay glued on Lifestyle Network watching all the cooking shows.  I can’t seem to imbibe the Martha Stewart spirit.  I know that the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach but, somehow, I can’t get there.  I’m constantly lost ‘coz I can’t seem to follow simple directions.

A couple of hours ago, I got hungry so I opened a bottle of Spanish sardines.  Since I can’t eat stuff straight from the bottle, I followed the basic ginisa recipe.  I had no trouble doing the basics.  I sautéed garlic, onions and tomatoes without a glitch but I can’t say the same about the “then add the Spanish sardines in olive oil” part.  As I was pouring the sardines from the bottle, I was surprised when I saw large chunks of fish instead of the usual tiny fish that they also use to make tuyo.  WTF?

Dumbfounded, I naturally checked the bottle label and it was then that I realized that what I have was the bangus (milkfish) version.

Ooops!  I did it again.  Another label disaster.  I should have paid more to attention to Nestle’s commercial slogan.  It really “pays to look at the label”.

The (really) sad thing was the fact that I was the one who went grocery shopping.  I (obviously) grabbed the wrong bottle.  To top it all, I grabbed two wrong ones.

Haayyy, how stupid can I get?

Now you also know.

I’m “still single” because not only can’t I f**king cook, I also can’t do grocery shopping.

Men may not be as intuitive as women but I’m pretty sure that they can smell my lack of kitchen skills from a mile away.

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2 Comments »

  1. then find a man who could do the cooking for you!
    or some of your millions and enroll in a cooking class. 🙂

    it’s not that bad, just have to keep trying. practice makes good ginisa.

    Comment by Daileen — January 31, 2010 @ 1:34 pm

  2. @Daileen, i’ll take ur advice by heart, hindi yung practice cooking ha, yung finding a man who can cook =)

    Comment by attyarj — February 1, 2010 @ 9:45 am


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