Confessions of AttyArj
the case of the shrinking chocolait
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I’m not a milk fan so, to force calcium into my system, my parents stocked up on Magnolia Chocolait. Since then, Magnolia Chocolait became my comfort/bed time drink.
Through the years, Magnolia Chocolait went through a lot of costume changes, este, package designs pala. I still remember (and now miss) the glass bottled Chocolait that the milkman delivers to our door every Saturday. Compared to the tetra packed Chocolait , the glass bottled Chocolait definitely tastes way better.
A few hours ago I went grocery shopping and was surprised by what I saw in the milk aisle.
Dyaraaan! Introducing, the “One Sip Magnolia Chocolait”.
WTF?!? Sinong may pakana nito? Aba eh kahit bagong panganak na sanggol mabibitin dito.
A few grocery ailes later, I stumbled upon these.
Uso? Apparently, hindi lang Magnolia ang nagka-cater sa mga dwende, Selecta shrank their Moo din pala.
what’s in your dish rack?
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I was about to grab a dinner plate when I saw this.
Is that what I think it is?
From afar, I thought — “Odd. Why is our peanut butter here?” And then I saw the half-eaten strawberry. “Who’s strawberry is this and why is it here?”
“Akin yan. I forgot about it na. Kinakain ko yan kanina kaya lang ang asim so I put it down.” — V
“Sayang, ang laki pa naman”. — D
“HAHAHA! This is classic. Asan yung camera?” — Arj
how to get a US visa, the Nicole way
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Nicole? Sinong Nicole?
Si Nicole ang bida sa “Subic Rape Case”, isang mala-teleseryeng istorya na inumpisahan noong 2005 at patuloy pa ring sinusubaybayan ng mga tao.
Si Nicole ang babaeng nag-bakasyon sa Subic, nag-paiwan sa mga kasama at magdamag na nakipag-inuman at nakipag-landian sa mga sundalong amerikano na nakilala niya sa dance floor.
Si Nicole ang babaeng nag-reklamo at nag-sampa ng kasong rape laban kay Daniel Smith at mga kasamahan nito.
Si Nicole ang babaeng pinag-aksayahan ng pera ng gobyerno, ng panahon at pagod ng mga abugadong hindi nag-pabayad, at ng papel, lapis at ballpen ng mga reporter.
Si Nicole ang babaeng nagpa-sakit ng ulo ng mga taong gumagawa ng batas, nagpapa-tupad ng batas, nag-tuturo ng batas at nag-aaral ng batas.
Si Nicole ang babaeng naging dahilan ng muntik nang pag-kasira ng ating foreign relations sa bayan ni Smith.
Si Nicole ay si Suzette Nicolas at ito ang kanyang bagong kwento:
“Deep inside, however, I know that I may never be able to move on for as long as I continue to search for answer to so many questions that have lingered in my mind regarding the incident in Subic more than three years ago. Daniel Smith was convicted of rape because the court accepted my version that he took advantage of my intoxication in raping me inside a van that took us to the seawall located at the SBMA Alaba Pier at around 11:30 in the evening of November 1, 2005.”
“Daniel Smith’s witnesses said that while we were at the Neptune Club, I sat on Daniel Smith’s lap and that we kissed each other passionately. I remember that before I met Daniel Smith at the Neptune Club, all I ate was a slice of pizza at the Grand Leisure Hotel. After the pizza, everything else was alcoholic drinks from vodka sprite, B52, Singaporean sling, B53, long island ice tea to bullfrog all of which I drank bottoms up. I do not recall Daniel Smith having ordered any alcoholic drink for me. My drinks were all paid for by Chris Mills who invited me to go to the Neptune Club.”
“I had no opportunity to deny in court that I kissed Daniel Smith but with the amount of alcoholic mixed drinks I took, my low tolerance level of alcohol and with only a slice of pizza all night, it dawned upon me that I may have possibly lost my inhibitions, became so intimate with Daniel Smith and did more than just dancing and talking with him like everyone else on the dance floor. Looking back, I would not have agreed to talk with Daniel Smith and dance with him no less than three times if I did not enjoy his company or was at least attracted to him since I met him for the very first time on the dance floor of Neptune Club.”
“When I danced with Daniel Smith for the third time, my companion, Chris Mills has already left Neptune Club since he had to catch their curfew time at the military base. The lighting was sufficient for people to recognize each other and other marines were with their Filipino partners drinking, dancing and enjoying each other’s company and kissing and hugging among partners was a common scene.”
“With the events at the Neptune Club in mind, I keep on asking myself, if Daniel Smith wanted to rape me, why would he carry me out of the Neptune Club using the main entrance in full view of the security guard and the other sources? Why would the van park right in front of Neptune Club? Why would Daniel Smith and his companions bring me to the seawall of Alaba Pier and casually leave this area that was well lighted and with many people roaming around? If they believed that I was raped, would they have not dumped me instead in a dimly lit area along the highway going to Alaba Pier to avoid detection?”
“I told the court that Daniel Smith kissed my lips and neck and held my breast inside the van. Recalling my testimony, I ask myself now how could I have remembered this if witnesses told the court that I passed out and looked unconscious when I was brought to the van by Daniel Smith. How could I have resisted his advances given this condition? Daniel Smith and I were alone on the third row of the van which had limited space and I do not recall anyone inside the van who held my hand or any part of my body. What I can recall is that there was very loud music and shouting inside the van.”
“If the travel from Neptune Club took only several minutes and with the driver of the van trying to beat the curfew time of his passengers, how could I have instantly regained my consciousness and talked to the people upon reaching the seawall of Alaba Pier? When people gathered around me at the seawall, everyone seemed to have drawn the conclusion that I was raped except for one who called me a bitch.”
“Based on the account of SBMA police, I was very hesitant to board the mobile police car that brought me to the headquarters for investigation. I was so confused and the first thing that entered my mind was how would my mother and boyfriend react if they learn that I was last seen with Daniel Smith and that a condom was seen on my pants after Daniel Smith left the van? I was scared of losing not only my American boyfriend but the chance of living in the United States. In fact, I did not immediately tell my boyfriend that I was raped by Daniel Smith. All I said was that something bad happened to me.”
“I expect many sectors to question my motives in executing this statement more than three years after the incident. However, as I practically grew up interacting with American servicemen in Zamboanga City who treated me and my family very well, and thinking over and over again how I may have conducted myself at the Neptune Club, I can’t help but entertain doubts on whether the sequence of events in Subic last November of 2005 really occurred the way the court found them to have happened.“
“My conscience continues to bother me realizing that I may have in fact been so friendly and intimate with Daniel Smith at the Neptune Club that he was led to believe that I was amenable to having sex or that we simply just got carried away. I would rather risk public outrage than do nothing to help the court in ensuring that justice is served.”
Wow! Ang galing palang mag-ingles ni Nicole. Ahhm, ano nga bang sinabi nya?
Simple lang naman ang nais nyang iparating.
“Totoo ang sabi ni Daniel Smith, we had consensual sex” – Nicole
Sa totoo lang, hindi naman nakakagulat ang kwentong ito. Ang nakaka-gulat at nakaka-inis ay biglaang pagre-recant ni Nicole at ang balitang nasa Amerika na raw ito baon ang kanyang PhP100,000.00 settlement. Eto pa, ang lahat nang pangyayaring ito ay lingid raw sa kaalaman ng kanyang magiting na abogado. Yeah right?!? Sa kaalaman kaya ni PGMA, lingid rin ito? Kung ikaw ang pinuno ng US Embassy, bibigyan mo ba ng US visa si Nicole sa kabila ng lahat ng ginawa nya? Nagtatanong lang.
For the full text of Nicole’s Sworn Statement, go to: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20090318-194694/SWORN-STATEMENT
skinniest bitch
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Guess who this is…
No idea?
Here’s another picture of her. This time, I didn’t crop her head.
Give up?
It’s her. Look closely.
Yes, it’s Lindsay Lohan. It’s really her. See?
“I eat. I had my Big Mac yesterday from McDonald’s.” “I eat just as much as I always have.”
She’s probably telling the truth but, the question is, when will she eat again? Next month?
Just asking.
gago at tanga to the highest level
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Bakit ang daming gagong lalaki at tangang babae sa mundo?
Aaminin ko, medyo mapanglait at mapanghusga ako kahit alam kong hindi naman ako perpekto. Alam ko rin na masama ang manglait at manghusga pero — NAMAN!!!
Anong ipinagpuputok ng butse ko???
Eto.
A few weeks ago, wala kang ibang maririnig at mababasa kung’di yung ginawang pang-gugulpi ni Chris Brown sa girlfriend nyang si Rihanna the diva. (Wala lang, nadi-divahan ako sa kanya.) Sabi sa mga tsismisang site sa internet, nag-hiwalay na raw ata sila. Tapos, the other day, I heard na they’re back together. Magkabati na raw at magkasama na ulit sila. To Rihanna — DUH!?! Tanga ka ba o tanga ka lang talaga???
Kahapon, isang gago at isang tanga na naman ang laman ng internet. Sino? Eh ‘di si Bachelor Jason Mesnick at Bachelor castoff Molly Malaney.
I’m not sure kung scripted at gimik lang ng mga producers ang nangyari pero, grabe naman. How mean can you get? Kawawa naman si Melissa (Rycroft)
Sa mga hindi nakaka-alam, here’s what happened.
Apparently, Melissa and Molly vied for Jason’s final rose. Eventually, Melissa came out victorious. She got the rose, the ring and the much awaited proposal. Unfortunately, she didn’t get the one thing that matters most — the GUY.
What happened? Jason changed his mind six weeks later. He broke up with her during the Final Rose special.
“I came here to find somebody to spend the rest of my life with… and we’re not right for each other,” Jason told Melissa.
“I don’t know what you want me to say when you sit here and say that—because I don’t believe you,” Melissa protested. “I mean, I thought things were perfect!”
“You have every right to be irritated,” Jason offered.
Dapat yata ang sinabi nya — “you have every right to wish me dead”.
That’s not it. Hindi pa dun natapos ang hirap at pasakit ni Melissa. After that, Jason professed his love to Molly, the girl that he previously dumped, and then begged for another chance. The nerve! The ass! Gago!
“So much of what I’ve been looking for, and I didn’t even know it, was right in front of my face,” Jason told Molly.
“I was hoping we could have a shot, see if we could go out for coffee or a drink and see where things…,” he added.
“I’m very confused,” Molly said, haltingly. “I think we still have a lot to talk about. But my feelings never went away. What I was feeling for you from the day I left New Zealand until today—those feelings never went away. I think we can…see where things go?”
“That’s all I’m asking,” Jason replied.
Tanga! Gaga! Baliw ka na ba?!?
Hayyy!!! Ewan!!!
Sana lang hindi mangyari sa’kin ang mga bagay na ito.
Tags: Chris Brown, Jason Mesnick, Melissa Rycroft, Molly Malaney, Rihanna, The Bachelor
iPhone for sale
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Just in case anybody’s interested, I’m selling my iPhone @ 50% discount.
Although I enjoyed using and flashing it around, I realized that it doesn’t suit my lifestyle and image. It lacks glamour. I need a better, cuter, trendier phone.
Anyway, to those who are interested, here’s a pix of my iPhone.
If you noticed, I jazzed it up a bit. I used solid 18 carat yellow gold, white gold and rose gold for the outline and encrusted 138 brilliant cut diamonds. Since I have a spare 6.6 carat diamond (I lost an earring pair), I decided to make use of it. See how it fits the “home button” perfectly?
I had my iPhone appraised and was informed that it’s worth EUR1,790,000.00 or PhP110,460,900.00, exclusive of VAT.
For more details and for details on my other phones, please click here.
tulala
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Tulala.
Yan ang itsura ko nung Thursday night nang biglang maglahong parang Pringles sa inuman ang pinag-paguran at pinag-puyatan kong kontrata.
Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari. Wala naman akong maling ginawa. I was just editing a contract provision when MS Word suddenly went haywire. May lumabas na advice window, I clicked one of the options, and then POOP! Wala na yung kontratang dalawang araw ko sinulat at dapat in-email before end of business hours Thursday.
Eh ‘di ba may auto-recovery naman?
Alam ko.
Eh ‘di ba may one-touch recovery function naman ang laptop mo?
Oo.
Eh anong nangyari?
Hindi ko nga alam!
Hindi ako techie pero hindi rin naman ako idiota. Alam kong may auto-recovery ang imbensyon ni Bill Gates pero for some strange reasons, hindi ako tinulungan ni Einstein at ni Bantay (yung aso ni Bill Gates).
Nung umpisa, hindi ako nag-panic, sinubukan ko muna yung mga actions at commands na alam ko.
Sinubukan kong i-re-open yung file name — “MOA rrj draft 3″ sa File window list. Andun pero ayaw bumukas! Shit!
I minimized the Word file, opened My Documents, clicked the right folder and then looked for the file name — “MOA rrj draft 3″. WALA?!? OMG! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
At that point medyo panic mode na’ko pero naisip kong meron pang pag-asa. May Windows Explorer pa.
I tried exploring. I didn’t work. FCUK! I’m fcuked!
Last chance. Isa na lang pag-asa ko — Windows Search.
Surprise surprise! Wala raw document na may file name na “MOA rrj draft 3″. Eto pa, wala raw akong ginawa nung February 11, 2009! WALA?!? Anong WALA?!? Nag-papatawa ba ‘tong laptop ko?!?
While exploring may nakita akong “Rescued Document” na naka-MS Notepad format. YES! May na-recover! Nabuhayan ako ng loob. May sumibol na pag-asa sa puso ko kaya agad ko itong binuksan.
SHIT! FCUK! P.I.!!!!
Nangilid ang luha nang makita kong libo-libong tandang pananong lang ang laman nung recovered file. Ang mahigit kumulang eight pages kong kontrata (na naka-single space in legal size paper format) ay naging six pages worth of question marks.
Sa puntong yon, natulala na ako. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.
Wala na. That’s it. Wala na akong choice, kelangan ko nang mag-dial a friend. Shit! Alas-dos na nang umaga.
Ti-next ko si Ate Nina, ang dakila naming comptroller/computer doctor, tinanong ko kung gising pa sha. Oo daw, Y?
Tumawag agad ako at humingi ng tulong. Sa tulong at direksyon ng naka-phone patch na si Ate Nina, sinubukan kong I-convert yung recovered notepad document into a Word document; I-open yung recovered notepad document gamit ang Internet Explorer; I-open yung “MOA rrj draft 3″ shortcut na nakita ko sa Recent Documents; I-re-start yung laptop. Mahigit isang oras naming pinagtulungan at sinubukan ang lahat nang pwedeng gawin pero wala akong napala. Nothing worked!
By 3:00 AM, naawa na ako kay Ate Nina kaya ibinaba ko na ang telepono. By 3:30 AM sumuko na rin ako. I turned off everything and then went to bed pero hindi ako naka-tulog. Isang oras akong tulala, tumitig sa kisame, nag-re-create ng contract outline at nag-isip kung paano sasagutin ang tawag ng kliyente.
Tulala. Tulala pa rin ako pero iba na ang dahilan. Ano? Hindi ko sasabihin pero mag-iiwan ako ng clue. May kinalaman ito sa petsa (date).
my mom the debutante
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Here’s the thing, gustong mag-debut ng nanay ko.
Problema ‘to. Problemang malaki. Kaya naman nananawagan ako sa mga kapatid kong tumakas sa katotohan at nangibang bansa. Hoy mga ungas, magsi-uwi kayo dito, tulungan nyo ako! Gustong mag-debut ni Mama!
Bakit at paano ako nasadlak sa problemang ito? Kasalanan ni Bonifacio Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.
Here’s the story. Last Monday, while I was lounging at home, enjoying Bonifacio Day (a November 30 holiday thing which was, absurd as it was, moved to December 1. Go figure! I already stopped analyzing and questioning Tita Glow’s holiday economics thingy). Anyway, there I was enjoying a couch potato moment when my makulit na nanay asked if we’ll throw a party for her birthday.
Here’s how our coversation went:
Mama: Gusto ko may party sa birthday ko.
Arj: Huh? Ang tagal pa nun. February pa. Let’s think about Christmas muna.
Mama: Siempre naman dapat special yun, 60th bday party ko yun.
Arj: Okay lang. Eh ‘di magpaparty tayo kung gusto mo.
Mama: Kayo gagastos?
Arj: Tingnan natin. Sige. Saan mo gusto? Gusto mo sa Jollibee? Okay dun, walang hassle, babayaran na lang (LOL).
Mama: Hello! Ayaw ko nga dun. Nakakainis ka naman. Mag-mumukha akong tanga.
Arj: O sige, sa McDonalds na lang, mas sosyal konti (laugh again).
Mama: Ayaw ko dun. Basta gusto ko bigyan mo ako ng magandang party.
Arj: Oo na nga, may party ka na, pero ikaw ang mag-aasikaso. Hindi ko makakayang mag-plan ng party kasi busy ako sa work at nasa Pasig ako most of the time. Ikaw, dito ka lang sa house, ikaw na lang mag-asikaso ng details tutal mga bisita mo naman yun. Ikaw mag-plan kung anong gusto mong handa at kung sinong gusto mong i-invite. Tapos, tsaka tayo mag-usap.
Mama: Okay. Gusto ko dun sa Reception Hall nung Tita ni “D”.
Arj: HA? (heart attack) Eh bakit dun? Ang layo naman. Tsaka, baka mahal bayad dun.
Mama: Kesa naman sa Kuhala Bay, mas mahal dun.
Arj: (still shocked) Ma, ano ba balak mo, mag-debut?
Mama: Ah basta, gusto ko bongga, yung naka-bihis ako tsaka yung mga bisita ko.
Arj: Eh di mag-bihis ka. Eh what’s wrong ba with having the party here? Kasya naman ang mga friends mo dito sa bahay natin. Parang nung 60th bday party ni Papa, dito lang pero masaya naman. Sayang kasi yung ibabayad natin sa place ‘Ma, isama na lang natin sa handa para siguradong masarap. Enjoy ang mga bisita.
Mama: (medyo nakukumbinsi na) Sabagay.
Arj: (para makumbinsi pa lalo) Tsaka ‘Ma, pag dun ka sa reception hall nag-party, mag-uuwian agad yung mga bisita mo, wala ng kwentuhan at inuman after. Walang bonding kasi may time limit yung lugar at may distance from home factor.
Mama: Oo nga. (hayyy, finally!) Sige, dito na lang.
Arj: Oh sige, tawagan mo yung caterer para makapag-set tayo ng menu at budget.
After non, nakahinga na ako ng maluwag, umakyat ako sa kwarto ko at natulog (sayang ang bakasyon kung hindi itutulog).
Akala ko tapos na, okay na, nagkasundo na kami. Mali pala ako. Makulit pala talaga ang nanay ko.
Nang dumating si “D” for our usual weekly expedition (from Rizal to Pasig), humirit na naman ang debutante kong nanay. Akala yata hindi ko naririnig yung kwentuhan nilang dalawa. Here’s what I overheard:
Mama: “D” alam mo ba kung magkano yung bayad sa Reception Hall ng Tita mo?
“D”: Naku, hindi po. Pero pwede ko pong itanong. Bakeeet?
Mama: Birthday ko kasi sa February. Gusto kong mag-party.
“D”: Ahhh! Parang debut ba ito Tita? May cotillion ba? (laugh)
OMG! Seryoso sha. Gusto nya talagang mag-debut. Anong gagawin ko? Pipigilan ko ba sha? Magpapatahi na ba ako ng gown?
Ano kayang motif? Kelangan ba yung cake may bumababang manika sa hagdan? Dapat ba may 60 roses? 60 candles? at 60 gifts? Naku, 180 guests na agad yun. Ano kayang magandang give-away? Hayyy! This is precisely the reason why hindi ako nag-debut!
Mga inaanak, pasensha na, wala kayong christmas gifts ngayung pasko, kelangang mag-save, magpapa-debut ng nanay si ninang.
FIERCE
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Sorry Daileen, I know you hate this word but there’s no other way to describe this. This is really FIERCE.
Here’s a single man dancing to Beyonce’s Single Ladies (from I am…Sasha Fierce album).
Brace your hearts everyone.
Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on itOh oh oh. Oh oh oh. Oh oh. Oh oh oh.
cyber dum(b) dum(b)
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One of the downsides of being a neophyte blogger is that, half the time, you don’t know what your fellow bloggers are talking about.
Just the other day, Dai posted a comment in “A”s blog and used the abbrev “TMI”. TMI? Huh? Obviously, I didn’t get it so I spent about a minute or two analyzing her post. Finally, it hit me, TMI simply means “too much information”.
Minutes after that, while blog hopping, I saw an entry wherein the blogger spoke of her being a SAHM. A what??? Is that a job or something? After rattling my brain cells and coming out with nothing, I consulted my all time favorite, good ol’ reliable Google. According to the Google entry that I found, SAHM means “stay at home mom”. Haaayy, ang hirap nang shonga, thank goodness there’s Google.
Because of that incident, I started searching for a site that can help me understand alien language. After a few minutes of searching (through Google of course!) I found a very helpful (parenting) site, http://www.teenagerstoday.com, and found a cyber lingo guide. I went through it and realized that I’m soo dum(b) dum(b) I’m not even qualified to surf net, let alone attempt to maintain a blog site.
Having accepted the fact that I’m cyber stupid, it’s time to learn some more highfaluting cyber lingo. My goal is to learn at least five acronyms per day. Tama na yun noh, my brain cells are already way past their peak.
When I was still in school, I’m the highlighting queen with a pencil case full of colored pens, markers and highlighters. Naging stockholder ako ng Stabilo Boss, Highlighter, Dermatograph (yung binabalataan), Pilot at MyGel. So, in the spirit of studying, I color coded.
LEGEND:
Blue – those I actually know.
Purple – my favorites
Red – WTF! (what the f_ ck!)
Yellow – ho humm..boring…
Black – can live w/o it
MODULE I
The ABCs of Cyber Lingo
A Guide to Internet Acronyms
By Tammy Ruggles, BSW, MA
http://www.teenagerstoday.com/articles/communication/the-abcs-of-cyber-lingo-5137/
A
AAK: Alive and kicking
AAR: At any rate
AAS: Alive and smiling
Addy: Abbreviation for e-mail address
ADN: Any day now
AFAIK: As far as I know
AFK: Away from the keyboard
AFN: All for now
AOTA: All of the above
ASL: Age/Sex/Location (used to ask a chatter their personal information)
AV: Avatar (a graphic or icon often used by chatters to express looks, personality or mood)
B
B4: Before
BAK: Back at keyboard (ex.: I’m back at the keyboard.)
BBL: Be back later
BBS: Be back soon
B/F: Boyfriend
BEG: Big evil grin
BFN: Bye for now
Boot: When chatters are kicked out of a chat room due to some technical problem, or have to restart their computers
BR: Best regards
BRB: Be right back
BRH: Be right here
BTA: But then again
BTW: By the way
C
Chat room: A Web page where people gather using software that allows them to type messages to each other in real time
CU or CYA: See you or see ya
CNP: Continued in next post
CP: Chat post
CUL8R: See you later
CUOL: See you on-line
CYA: See ya
D
DD, DS, DH: Darling (or Dear) – Dear Daughter, Dear Son, Dear Husband
DEGT: Don’t even go there
DIKU: Do I know you?
DIS: Did I say
D/L, DL: Downloading or download it
E
EG: Evil grin
EM: E-mail
EMA: E-mail address
EOT: End of thread
EZ: Easy
F
F2F: Face to face
FAQ: Frequently Asked Question
FISH: First in still here
FUD: Fear, uncertainty and doubt
FWIW: For what it’s worth
FYI: For your information
G
GA: Go ahead
GAL: Get a life
G/F or GF: Girlfriend
GFN: Gone for now
GGOH: Gotta get outta here
GMTA: Great minds think alike
GR: Gotta run
GR&D: Grinning, running and ducking
GTR: Got to run
GTRM: Going to read mail (leaving chat room to read e-mail)
H
HAGD: Have a good day
HAGO: Have a good one
HB: Hurry back
HTH: Hope that helps
Huggles: Hugs
I
IAC: In any case
IB: I’m back
IC: I see
ICQ: I seek you (a computer program used to instantly communicate over the Internet)
ILU or ILY: I love you
IM: Instant Message
IMHO: In my humble/honest opinion
IMO: In my opinion
IOH: I’m out of here
IOW: In other words
IRL: In real life
IYO: In your opinion
J
JAS: Just a second
JIC: Just in case
JK: Just kidding
JMO: Just my opinion
JW: Just wondering
K
K: OK
KIT: Keep in touch
L
L8R: Later
LMAO: Laughing my ass off
LOL: Laughing out loud
LTNS: Long time no see
LTS: Laughing to self
LY: Love ya
LYL: Love you lots
M
Message Board: A web page where people type comments, leave messages and communicate, and those comments are posted online for others to read. Used to talk, request information and leave messages.
N
Newbie or NB1: A person new to computers or technology
NIMBY: Not in my back yard
NM: Never mind
NP: No problem
NRN: No response necessary or not right now
NT: No thanks
O
OBTW: Oh, by the way
OIC: Oh, I see
OJ or OK: Only joking or only kidding (I thought OJ means orange juice and OK means okay? WTF!)
OL: the Old Lady
OM: the Old Man
OMG: Oh my gosh or God
OT: Off topic (OT is still overtime for me)
OTH: Off the hook (something really wild, hot or unusual)
OTR: Off the rack (saying that something is off the hook)
OTE: Over the edge (beyond reason or normalcy)
OTOH: On the other hand
OTOMH: Off the top of my head (too complicated)
OTW: On the way (when sending a file, meaning, “It’s on the way.”)
P
P911: Parents are in the room (P=Parents and 911=emergency, meaning stop talking or watch what you say)
PEBCAK: Problem exists between chair and keyboard
Peeps: People, friends, other chatters
Peep This: Listen to this or watch this
PLZ: Please
PMJI: Pardon me for jumping in (when a chatter jumps into a new conversation or thread)
Poof: When a chatter leaves a chat room, as in “Poof! They disappeared.”
POS: Parents over shoulder (as in parents are looking over my shoulder to read the chat text)
POTS: Parents over the shoulder
POTS: Plain old telephone service
PPL: People
Q
QT: Cutie
R
RL: Real life (as in life away from the computer)
RM: Ready made
ROFL: Rolling on floor laughing
RSN: Real soon now
RT: Real time
RU: Are you?
S
SH: Same here
SN: Screen name (nickname selected by chatter or for an IM)
SO: Significant other
SOTA: State of the art (WTF! parang SONA)
SPST: Same place, same time
STR8: Straight (refers to sexual orientation or being free of alcohol or drugs at the moment, also used in “I’m OK” or “It’s OK. I’m satisfied. I’m straight with it.”)
STW: Search the Web
SY: Sincerely yours
SYL: See you later
T
TAFN: That’s all for now
TC: Take care
THX: Thanks!
TIA: Thanks in advance
TM: Text message (communications with text over cell phones)
TMI: Too much information (learned this from Daileen)
TNT: ‘Til next time
TPS: That’s pretty stupid
TPTB: The powers that be
TRDMF : Tears running down my face (from laughter or sadness) (again, too complicated)
TTFN: Ta-ta for now
TTTT: These things take time (WTF! Too many Ts)
TTYL: Talk to you later
TY: Thank you
TYT: Take your time
TYVM: Thank you very much
U
UV: Unpleasant visual
UW: You’re welcome
UY: Up yours
W
WB: Welcome back (said out of courtesy when a chatter returns to a chat room)
WC: Welcome
WEG: Wicked evil grin
WEU: What’s eating you?
WFM: Works for me
WIIFM: What’s in it for me?
WTG: Way to go
WT?: What the …? or Who the …?
WTGP?: Want to go private? (move to IM or private conversation)
WWJD: What would Jesus do?
Y
YAA: Yet another acronym
YBS: You’ll be sorry
YL: Young lady
YM: Young man
YMMV: Your mileage may vary
YR: Yeah, right (sarcastic)
YS: You stinker
YVW: You’re very welcome
YW: You’re welcome
BFN!
penance
