the case of the shrinking chocolait
Posted by: attyarj on: April 20, 2009
- In: WTF!
- 14 Comments
I’m not a milk fan so, to force calcium into my system, my parents stocked up on Magnolia Chocolait. Since then, Magnolia Chocolait became my comfort/bed time drink.
Through the years, Magnolia Chocolait went through a lot of costume changes, este, package designs pala. I still remember (and now miss) the glass bottled Chocolait that the milkman delivers to our door every Saturday. Compared to the tetra packed Chocolait , the glass bottled Chocolait definitely tastes way better.
A few hours ago I went grocery shopping and was surprised by what I saw in the milk aisle.
Dyaraaan! Introducing, the “One Sip Magnolia Chocolait”.
WTF?!? Sinong may pakana nito? Aba eh kahit bagong panganak na sanggol mabibitin dito.
A few grocery ailes later, I stumbled upon these.
Uso? Apparently, hindi lang Magnolia ang nagka-cater sa mga dwende, Selecta shrank their Moo din pala.
my “not so techie” mom part II
Posted by: attyarj on: March 31, 2009
As promised, here’s the second installment for my “not so techie” mom saga.
One of my Mama’s classic gadget moments happened a few years ago. At that time, I was reviewing for the Bar and super stressed so my Mama’s text message was such a welcome comic relief.
Before reading her message, please keep in mind that my Mama, at that time, has just been introduced to the world of text messaging and was still trying to figure out how to use her brand new Nokia 8250 (this is circa 2001 in case you’re wondering).
This is the message that I got from her.
“I HATE THIS PHONE I CANNOT TEXT ENGLISH ONLY”.
All together now……hahahaha!
In case you didn’t figure out, my Mama’s Nokia phone was on dictionary or english prediction mode so every word she types gets converted to english.
Judging by her words, I figured she’s really really pissed and frustrated so I called her and gave her step by step instructions on how to turn off the predictive mode.
what’s in your dish rack?
Posted by: attyarj on: March 27, 2009
I was about to grab a dinner plate when I saw this.
Is that what I think it is?
From afar, I thought — “Odd. Why is our peanut butter here?” And then I saw the half-eaten strawberry. “Who’s strawberry is this and why is it here?”
“Akin yan. I forgot about it na. Kinakain ko yan kanina kaya lang ang asim so I put it down.” — V
“Sayang, ang laki pa naman”. — D
“HAHAHA! This is classic. Asan yung camera?” — Arj
my “not so techie” mom’s facebook experience
Posted by: attyarj on: March 27, 2009
I was preparing to go home when I saw a missed call from my Mom so immediately called her. Here’s how our conversation went.
“Ma, you called?”
“Oo, kasi may facebook request ako from Loraine, hindi ko ma-approve. Hindi mo kasi ako tinuruan. Buksan mo nga yung facebook ka, ikaw na lang mag-approve.”
“‘Di ba tinuruan na kita? I-click mo lang yung friend request, nasa may bandang taas yun.”
“Ayaw nga, kanina pako dito naiinis na ‘ko.”
“Asan si Papa? Patulong ka sa kanya.”
“Andito nga, katabi ko, pero hindi nya alam. Hindi mo kasi ako tinuruan. Kanina pa ‘ko dito. ‘Di ko na alam gagawin ko!”
At this point, medyo magka-level na ang exasperation namin.
“Sige nga, buksan mo ulit.”
“Bukas na nga! Nakaka-inis! Bakit ganun?”
At this point, sumali na ang tatay ko sa gulo. I can hear him in the background saying — “Ma, ano ba, ‘wag kang mag-pakagalit dyan, it’s no big deal, just follow her instructions.”
“Ano ‘ba nakikita mo sa screen? Nasa taas lang yung friend request. I-click mo lang, lalabas na si Loraine.”
“Eto, binabasa ko yung e-mail ni Loraine, gusto nya akong i-invite sa facebook.”
“Ma, nasan ka ba? Nasa Yahoo ka ba?
“Oo, kasi dito pinadala ni Loraine yung invitation.”
Sabi ko sa isip ko — @%&$!
”Maaa, eh paano mo ia-approve yan eh nasa Yahoo ka, pumunta ka sa Facebook.”
”Eh paano ba ‘ko pupunta sa Facebook?”
“Magbukas ka nang bagong explorer. I-click mo yung letter “e” na blue o yung mozilla icon.”
“O, ayan, may Facebook na.”
“O sige, mag-log-in ka. Email address, then password.”
“Ayaw!”
Naki-alam ulit ang tatay ko. “Ayun, sign-up!”
“‘Wag yun, yung LOG-IN dapat!”
“Ayaw nga. Ayan, naging puti lahat yung screen.”
“Hintayin mo lang.”
“O, ayan, naka-pasok na ‘ko.”
“O, i-click mo yung friend request sa taas. Kita mo?”
“Ayan, na-click ko na. Nakita ko na si Loraine. May add to list.”
“Hindi yun, i-confirm mo.”
“Ayan, friend ko na raw si Loraine.”
“O sige, sagutin mo na yung message nya.”
“Sabi dito do you want to poke Loraine, ano gagawin ko?”
“Hay nako, ‘wag ka muna mag-po-po-poke dyan, mag-aral ka muna mag-log-in. So, okay na? Babay na? Pwede na akong umuwi?”
“Okay, babay na. Thank you anak.”
“Okay, bye.”
Hayyy. Buti na lang may 24/7 call & text unlimited ang Sun cellular at ‘di ako nagastusan sa kulitang yun.
Ang cute ng nanay ko no? Ang kulit. Love you ‘Ma.
Isa lang po yan sa mga techie moments ng nanay ko, madami pang iba. Bukas, I’ll share her text messaging experience.
earth hour 2009
Posted by: attyarj on: March 20, 2009
Although I’m not an avid supporter of environmental campaigns like Anne, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love or care about Mother Earth. I do!
That is why, on March 28, 2009, I’m gonna switch off our lights…
along with the rest of the world.
Here’s a glimpse of what’s gonna to happen.
how to get a US visa, the Nicole way
Posted by: attyarj on: March 19, 2009
- In: WTF!
- 11 Comments
Nicole? Sinong Nicole?
Si Nicole ang bida sa “Subic Rape Case”, isang mala-teleseryeng istorya na inumpisahan noong 2005 at patuloy pa ring sinusubaybayan ng mga tao.
Si Nicole ang babaeng nag-bakasyon sa Subic, nag-paiwan sa mga kasama at magdamag na nakipag-inuman at nakipag-landian sa mga sundalong amerikano na nakilala niya sa dance floor.
Si Nicole ang babaeng nag-reklamo at nag-sampa ng kasong rape laban kay Daniel Smith at mga kasamahan nito.
Si Nicole ang babaeng pinag-aksayahan ng pera ng gobyerno, ng panahon at pagod ng mga abugadong hindi nag-pabayad, at ng papel, lapis at ballpen ng mga reporter.
Si Nicole ang babaeng nagpa-sakit ng ulo ng mga taong gumagawa ng batas, nagpapa-tupad ng batas, nag-tuturo ng batas at nag-aaral ng batas.
Si Nicole ang babaeng naging dahilan ng muntik nang pag-kasira ng ating foreign relations sa bayan ni Smith.
Si Nicole ay si Suzette Nicolas at ito ang kanyang bagong kwento:
“Deep inside, however, I know that I may never be able to move on for as long as I continue to search for answer to so many questions that have lingered in my mind regarding the incident in Subic more than three years ago. Daniel Smith was convicted of rape because the court accepted my version that he took advantage of my intoxication in raping me inside a van that took us to the seawall located at the SBMA Alaba Pier at around 11:30 in the evening of November 1, 2005.”
“Daniel Smith’s witnesses said that while we were at the Neptune Club, I sat on Daniel Smith’s lap and that we kissed each other passionately. I remember that before I met Daniel Smith at the Neptune Club, all I ate was a slice of pizza at the Grand Leisure Hotel. After the pizza, everything else was alcoholic drinks from vodka sprite, B52, Singaporean sling, B53, long island ice tea to bullfrog all of which I drank bottoms up. I do not recall Daniel Smith having ordered any alcoholic drink for me. My drinks were all paid for by Chris Mills who invited me to go to the Neptune Club.”
“I had no opportunity to deny in court that I kissed Daniel Smith but with the amount of alcoholic mixed drinks I took, my low tolerance level of alcohol and with only a slice of pizza all night, it dawned upon me that I may have possibly lost my inhibitions, became so intimate with Daniel Smith and did more than just dancing and talking with him like everyone else on the dance floor. Looking back, I would not have agreed to talk with Daniel Smith and dance with him no less than three times if I did not enjoy his company or was at least attracted to him since I met him for the very first time on the dance floor of Neptune Club.”
“When I danced with Daniel Smith for the third time, my companion, Chris Mills has already left Neptune Club since he had to catch their curfew time at the military base. The lighting was sufficient for people to recognize each other and other marines were with their Filipino partners drinking, dancing and enjoying each other’s company and kissing and hugging among partners was a common scene.”
“With the events at the Neptune Club in mind, I keep on asking myself, if Daniel Smith wanted to rape me, why would he carry me out of the Neptune Club using the main entrance in full view of the security guard and the other sources? Why would the van park right in front of Neptune Club? Why would Daniel Smith and his companions bring me to the seawall of Alaba Pier and casually leave this area that was well lighted and with many people roaming around? If they believed that I was raped, would they have not dumped me instead in a dimly lit area along the highway going to Alaba Pier to avoid detection?”
“I told the court that Daniel Smith kissed my lips and neck and held my breast inside the van. Recalling my testimony, I ask myself now how could I have remembered this if witnesses told the court that I passed out and looked unconscious when I was brought to the van by Daniel Smith. How could I have resisted his advances given this condition? Daniel Smith and I were alone on the third row of the van which had limited space and I do not recall anyone inside the van who held my hand or any part of my body. What I can recall is that there was very loud music and shouting inside the van.”
“If the travel from Neptune Club took only several minutes and with the driver of the van trying to beat the curfew time of his passengers, how could I have instantly regained my consciousness and talked to the people upon reaching the seawall of Alaba Pier? When people gathered around me at the seawall, everyone seemed to have drawn the conclusion that I was raped except for one who called me a bitch.”
“Based on the account of SBMA police, I was very hesitant to board the mobile police car that brought me to the headquarters for investigation. I was so confused and the first thing that entered my mind was how would my mother and boyfriend react if they learn that I was last seen with Daniel Smith and that a condom was seen on my pants after Daniel Smith left the van? I was scared of losing not only my American boyfriend but the chance of living in the United States. In fact, I did not immediately tell my boyfriend that I was raped by Daniel Smith. All I said was that something bad happened to me.”
“I expect many sectors to question my motives in executing this statement more than three years after the incident. However, as I practically grew up interacting with American servicemen in Zamboanga City who treated me and my family very well, and thinking over and over again how I may have conducted myself at the Neptune Club, I can’t help but entertain doubts on whether the sequence of events in Subic last November of 2005 really occurred the way the court found them to have happened.“
“My conscience continues to bother me realizing that I may have in fact been so friendly and intimate with Daniel Smith at the Neptune Club that he was led to believe that I was amenable to having sex or that we simply just got carried away. I would rather risk public outrage than do nothing to help the court in ensuring that justice is served.”
Wow! Ang galing palang mag-ingles ni Nicole. Ahhm, ano nga bang sinabi nya?
Simple lang naman ang nais nyang iparating.
“Totoo ang sabi ni Daniel Smith, we had consensual sex” – Nicole
Sa totoo lang, hindi naman nakakagulat ang kwentong ito. Ang nakaka-gulat at nakaka-inis ay biglaang pagre-recant ni Nicole at ang balitang nasa Amerika na raw ito baon ang kanyang PhP100,000.00 settlement. Eto pa, ang lahat nang pangyayaring ito ay lingid raw sa kaalaman ng kanyang magiting na abogado. Yeah right?!? Sa kaalaman kaya ni PGMA, lingid rin ito? Kung ikaw ang pinuno ng US Embassy, bibigyan mo ba ng US visa si Nicole sa kabila ng lahat ng ginawa nya? Nagtatanong lang.
For the full text of Nicole’s Sworn Statement, go to: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20090318-194694/SWORN-STATEMENT
what’s the big deal?
Posted by: attyarj on: March 11, 2009
Para sa mga hindi maka-relate sa previous entry ko (huling el bimbo) kasi hindi nakanood, tinamad, walang ka-date, walang pambiling ticket o ‘di kaya’y taga-ibang planeta at hindi kilala ang Eraserheads, I found a better way to describe the concert scene last Saturday.
Here’s a picture that speaks more than a 100,000 (estimated crowd) words.
Can you guys see me? I’m the 67,896th girl from the 3rd exit on the right wearing a black tank top with gold sequined ribbon. hehehe =)
Heartfelt compliments and big big thanks to Haw who sacrificed his viewing pleasure for everyone’s benefit.
huling el bimbo
Posted by: attyarj on: March 9, 2009
Since we weren’t able to watch Eraserheads’ reunion concert last year, Anne and I were ecstatic when we heard about their decision to give in to their fans clamour and to do a “Final Set”.
How big an Eraserheads fan am I???
Well, here are some of the things that I had to endure just to see their concert dubbed as “Eraserheads Live: The Final Set”:
1. not buying the Charles & Keith shoes (0r was it the blue Mango doctor’s bag?) that I fancied because I just bought concert tickets.
2. braving the Manila summer heat and the traffic while driving from Pasig to Mall of Asia, Pasay City @ 5km to 30km/hr.
3. eating dinner at 5Pm.
4. walking from MOA’s south wing carpark to the concert venue (located near the north wing carpark). We didn’t dare transfer the car for fear that we might not be able to find a slot there.
5. going to the concert venue 2 hrs before the concert schedule to look for a strategic spot. stage is visible – check. near video wall – check. with slight elevation – check. with cutie in sight - N/A.
6. waiting and standing for 1 1/2 hours.
7. Anne: walking back to MOA to pee and then wading through the sea of people in order to go back to our spot. according to her. “it was like finding a needle in a haystack”.
8. waiting for another 30 minutes or so while the MTV VJs talks non-sense.
9. sweating like a pig. (the crowd grew so big that I was, literally, forced to stay in my alloted space of approximately 1 1/2 square feet).
10. watching the concert via video walls because I can’t see the stage no matter how I tried. I’m 5′3 1/2″, was wearing chunky slippers and I still can’t see a thing. why does normal people appear like fat giants whenever their standing right in front of you? I’m sooo loving the little people now.
11. getting concert activity updates from the guy who has powerful binoculars.
12. rubbing (sweaty) elbows, shoulders, arms, butt and what not with strangers.
13. being stepped upon and spilled upon.
14. standing next to and seeing two sweaty members of the bovine family sing to each other, stare at each other’s eyes, wipe each other’s sweat and make out. @&%$! Thets: “Ewwww!” (she was sooo grossed out that she typed the word in her phone and then showed us)
15. from Coeli: standing next to an ugly, smelly guy. double @&%$!
16. being super duper sweaty and dehydrated.
17. not drinking for fear that it might trigger an urge to pee.
18. having to pin my hair with a ballpoint pen bcoz there’s no rubber band or hair clamp in my bag.
19. taking the painful walk back to MOA’s south wing carpark.
20. having to drive home (despite the leg cramps) and, once again, enduring the traffic. my theory is that 80% of original Eheads fans became professionals who can afford cars, hence, the midnight traffic.
But, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining because the concert was worth every penny and pain. The show was worth the additional moolah that I’ll have to pay the massage therapist for a number of reasons.
1. concert venue was huge, had a lot of emergency exits and cute emergency personnel on stand by.
2. no teeny boppers in sight. almost everyone’s our age =)
3. the wonderful opening number — “Magasin”.
4. the fact that there’s one video monitor for each of the four band members.
5. Ely, Raimund and Buddy’s youthful, cleaned up looks and Marcus’ ala Freddie Aguilar look.
6. Marcus’ Hello Kitty guitar.
7. Ely saying “I love you too pare” in response to inummerable declarations of love from the crowd.
8. their still singing ”Super Proxy” despite Francis M’s sudden demise.
9. Ely singing parts of “Kaleidoscope World” as a tribute to Francis M.
10. Raimund and Marcus taking over the vocals of some songs (so that Ely wouldn’t over exert himself?).
11. a girl kissing her boyfriend when she realized they were on the video screen. (that was cute and sweet, unlike the couple in beside us)
12. the people around us who knew the lyrics to every song. I was really really envious.
13. Ely telling the crowd to “sing” and “jump”. he’s a bit rude, but, what the heck, we all galdly sang and jumped for him.
14. Ely telling the crowd to write their song requests in a 1/4 sheet of paper length wise (no such thing, hehehe) and to give it to the waiter.
15. Ely ceremoniously burning an old piano.
16. the explosive final number — “Huling El Bimbo”. loved the confetti. loved the fireworks.
17. the group hug after the finale (have they finally, really, kissed and made up) and Ely’s brief thank you speech and “we are the Eraserheads!” shout out.
18. the Eheads re-emerging on the stage 10 or 15 minutes after the crowd dispersed. we all thought the technical people were just doing sound check when we heard someone speak but, as it turned out, the Eheads really went back. they talked for a while and then Ely announced that they’re doing “three for the road”.
19. the three final final songs, Ligaya, Sembreak and Toyang.
20. while singing Toyang, Ely going down the stage and letting some (very lucky) fans sing a few lines.
21. Tim Yap losing face because he doesn’t know the lyrics to “Toyang”. HAHAHA! I thought Ely will smash the microphone on top of his head (or something). Shame shame shame.
22. food and souvenir stalls dubbed as “Tindahan ni Aling Nena”.
23. the humongous crowd (think EDSA 2) walking away (in pairs, groups and flocks) from the concert venue (towards the still open MOA) with big smiles on their faces.
24. finally, watching it with my two bestees. since we watched the Eheads UST concert (don’t ask when) together, it was just fitting that we watch the Eheads reunion concert together also.
To Ely, Buddy, Raimund and Marcus, I will love you forever.
To Anne and Thets, thank you for (once again) sharing the Eheads experience with me =)
skinniest bitch
Posted by: attyarj on: March 6, 2009
Guess who this is…
No idea?
Here’s another picture of her. This time, I didn’t crop her head.
Give up?
It’s her. Look closely.
Yes, it’s Lindsay Lohan. It’s really her. See?
“I eat. I had my Big Mac yesterday from McDonald’s.” “I eat just as much as I always have.”
She’s probably telling the truth but, the question is, when will she eat again? Next month?
Just asking.
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